Zombies fall short in Championship

Cadavers(5) vs Blues(1)
Thursday 4/28
Quincy 7:50pm

2-1 loss

The Cadavers faced old time, longtime rival the Blues last night in Quincy for the Maple Leafs Division Championship. The game would be one of two if the Cads could pull off the win against the Blues who were 3-0 in the playoffs as the #1 seed, but if they won the season was over and they would take home the hardware. Its not the first time we've played for a trophy in that building and anticipation was high pregame.
Here is your Red roster.
Jacob Marks in Net
D1: George, Bauer
D2: Jeff, Daley
O1: Chapman, Baker, and Jasse
O2: Nelson, Joe, and Scott
O3: iJosh, Larry, Mitch

The last time we played Les Bleus it wasn't pretty. They had clearly added some talent and management was fully expecting a loaded team to show for this one. That wasn't really the case. They had all of their regulars and played very solid. #6 the most standout who was up and down the ice and all over the place getting chances pretty much all night. The Red had a deep bench, the Blues barely 2 lines and there was hope for good things as the teams got into the game in the first period.
The play was tight and physical. The Blues had no problem putting the body on and the Red took a little to adjust and really seemed a half step behind the Blue shirts most of the night. This is probably no surprise given the back to back with the game at BU the night before.
Larry would go for a hook halfway through the period but the Red did a nice job killing the penalty. Jacob was very solid as the Blues would get some good pressure on a regular basis. The first would end 0-0 and it was clear this one would be a struggle the whole way.
The Second period would see lots more action and a few more penalties. Eric Bauer would go for a roughing just 3 minutes into the period and Red would have to PK again. The Zombies did well but were still having a hard time generating offense well into the period. Finally the Blues would take a penalty when douchebag #3 Feury would get a trip call after taking down Jasse as he entered the zone. The penalty wasn't good for the Red this time and after a lackluster effort they would turn the puck over and #6 would put on the jets with a breakaway. He would finish nicely and the Blues were up 1-0 at almost exactly the halfway point in the game.
Larry would go for an elbow... and the blues would send another to the box as well. End of 2 and it was 1-0 Badguys.
Jacob would continue to do a tremendous job keeping us in the game through the whole 3rd period. One glove save in particular that had deflected off a stick in front was very impressive. We needed it for sure as the Blues kept coming. Despite being under-manned they outworked the Red on the majority of the shifts. They would break the game open when 7 would score from in front after a scramble. At this point Baker was playing D with Jeff and Daley had moved up front. The scorer was one of two guys in front, neither of which was Jeff covering. This was with less than 7 minutes left in the game.
The Blues #6 would go to the box for a ridiculous charge just about a minute later but again the Red would have a hard time making something happen up front. With just under 5 minutes left Larry would complete the tri-fecta with his 3rd penalty (another iffy one) and was bounced from the game. This left Red on the PK trying to make something happen. Chapman and Daley would play with Baker and Jeff. Paul suggested a play and got it right back to Jeff who misfired immediately (a theme), but luckily Steve Baker would pick it up and rifle a pass to the streaking Chapman (his plan) on the other blue line. Paul would lose a defender, make a sweet move and plunk it in for an unlikely but critical shorthanded goal.
Red would continue to try and ramp the pressure, with limited success as the final minutes would tick off. Really though, they struggled to get any consistent attack going. The Blues would salt it away and that was that. They would win 2-1 and celebrate with a hoist of the trophy and a picture.
Sad.
So begrudging Congratulations from the Cadavers and the whole organization... grumble grumble grumble.
4th Period honors to iJosh, Jasse and Bauer for bringing tasty beverages. Thanks to Heather for being a fan, and to Jacob and his crew that came up to see the game. It was cold comfort but good company late into the evening in the Quincy lot.

Good season Red. Good season 'daveurs. Thanks for playing. Hope to see you all back again soon.

Cads top Goats! Big Playoff Win!

Cadavers vs Scapegoats
Wednesday 4/27
BU 7:00pm

2-0 Win.


Team Zombie faced off against the Scapegoats at BU last night to claim rights for the loser bracket in the Maple Leafs Division playoffs. Both teams had one loss, the Cads due to the Goats themselves and would play for the right to play the Undefeated (playoffs) Blues tonight in Quincy.
The Dead in Red would be scrambling for players as it was the same night as the Bruins-Montreal Game 7 down the road at the Garden. It seams the 'Goats had the same issue as they would field a team of 9, and while talented, they were clearly without one or two of their "stars". Here's what the Zombie lineup looked like.
Jacob Marks in Net
D1: Campbell & Jeff
D2: George & Bauer
O1: Daley, Elliot and Roman
O2: Nelson, Joe, and Scott
O3: Larry, Mitch and iJosh

The Red would start well and it was clear that while the game would be close and tough, there was definitely a good chance for the Red to win on this night. The Goats were solid, but hurt by their lack of depth on the bench and by the end of the scoreless first they were already starting to slow down. The still had a few guys to keep an eye on. #6 with the black socks/pink stripes was a player, as well as speedy tough forwards #16 and #20. The Cads did a good job corralling the Goats when needed and creating consistent chances. There would be no scoring, or penalties in the first period.

Chances would become more frequent in the second. It wasn't long, when the hard work would start to pay off for the Red. Nelson, mucking and grinding as he does so well with linemates Joe and Scott would pop home a feed from Joe just under the 14 minute mark to put the Zombies on top. The Red would continue to apply the pressure and by late in the period the Goats would start to let the frustration show. #18 would go off with 3 minutes left in the second for a hook. There were some good chances but no blood and the period would end 1-0 Cads.

The third would see more good chances as the Red would clearly take the lion's share of shots in the period. Larry, Joe, Nelson, and iJosh would all have solid chances either miss the net or turned aside. Mike Campbell would jump up into the offensive fray a couple of times, charging in like the lean-mean freight-train he is, but nothing would fall for him.
More than one guy called it just like a B's playoff game, the team clinging to a tenuous 1 goal lead for a long period of time. Again the Goats would take a penalty but again they would execute the kill and there was no scoring.

Finally, under 5 minutes to play the Cads would strike paydirt again. The play would come from George, holding in at the point, to Mitch who would send it toward the net and then Larry would wrist one over the sprawling keeper for the insurance goal we needed.
The Goats would get a couple good chances and pulled their keeper but Jacob would stand strong, as he did all night (and all the playoffs really) and the Goats would be sent home with nothing.

So there you have it. A nice 2-0 win to send the Cads to the Championship game (kinda) against the Blues. The Goats wished us luck to take them down which was nice.
Game Stars

3rd Star: Larry Bell for the icer late in the game. Larry's had a nice couple of games for the Cads and it was nice to see him get a big time goal when we needed it.
2nd Star: Jacob Shutout Marks. Dude is on quite a run with us these playoffs winning games 2-0, 5-0 and now 2-0 again. Last night he wasn't tested as often as in the other games, he was still a solid presence and did a great job.

1st Star: Nelson Gamewinner Sharfman. The lunchpail greybeard's hard work pays off again as he would nail this one down with his goal in the second period. Always showing the way with his hard work and attitude. Great work Nelson.

So the Cadavers will face off against Les Bleus tonight for (almost) the Championship. Good luck Zombies.

Team Zombie Stomps Tripods!

Cadavers vs Tripod All Stars

Thursday April 20

HinghamC 9:20pm

5-0 Win!

The Dead in Red was back at the Hive of Scum and Villany in Hingham last night for a playoff tilt against the Tripod All Stars that turned out to be a meltdown in more ways than one. The Cads continued the Winter season as a result of the 2-0win on Sunday night over the Suds, and the Tripods were here thanks to a 5-1 spanking of El Tigre.

Jacob Marks would make another stellar appearance in net for Team Zombie and is quick becoming a rising star with the ‘Daveurs.

Here’s the rest of the roster.
DWH, Reynolds and George, and Jeff on D.

Larry and Baker centered.

Jasse, iJosh, Gregson, Elliot, Bauer and Joe Gordon wings.

The Tripods clearly did not have their top talent in the lineup despite dressing at least 10. It was clear from early on that the Cads would have a chance to make some hay against this team. Chances were plentiful early on and Red was moving the puck well in the offensive zone.

It was probably 5-8 minutes in when a scramble in the offensive zone would pay off. George would keep the play at the top of the zone and sent it netward. Joe Gordon would take the pass and shoot sending the keeper sprawling. Dan Gregson would pick up the short rebound and wrist it in the net for the 1-0 lead. Baker was in front distracting the goalie who turned out to be a true Psycho and he would take a roughing penalty for beating the snot out of Baker in front. Apparently this guy had some nut-job trigger mechanizm when a forward dared to screen him.

Baker, not to be outdone, spent the next few minutes yapping, despite getting the call, and the goal.

Gregson’s next shift at the end of the penalty would see a similar opportunity when he would pick up a rebound from farther away and would lift it over the (again) sprawling Green Keeper. 2-0 Red with about 5 minutes left and that’s how the period would end. Eric Bauer did have a trip penalty but there was no scoring on the penalty.

The second would see more of the same as Red did an excellent job taking the puck to the Tripods. Mike Jasse would tap a pass out to Jeff at the top of the zone. Jeff would send a wobbler that would ding off a defenseman and Baker’s stick and into the net for a 3-0 lead. Good thing it had the bounce, because it didn’t have much power.

Next up iJosh would finish a nice play that went from Baker, to Jasse to him after going around the zone. Josh’s goal would make it 4-0 but the Zombies were on a roll. Before the end of the second Eric Bauer, who played great on offense would get his on a feed from Larry and the game was officially a rout at the end of 2, 5-0.

The third period would see the only flurry from the Tripods as they would get multiple chances in the Red end early on. Green would get at least 4-5 good shots after the Red D started chasing around the zone. Jacob was right there and snuffed out all the offerings, flashing right and left kick saves, and using his glove all in a matter of moments. He had the plays tottaly squashed and that would do it for Team Green.

The meltdown would be on as they would take another rough penalty from their Keeper who was losing it. A forward would join in the pushing after the play and would get tossed also.
The Red would have a 5 on 3powerplay and started getting chances right away. Larry, being the instigator/agitator that he is was parked in front of the keeper getting him hotter and hotter. Finally the guy just lost it and whacked Larry a bunch of times. The Zebras couldn’t let it go any longer, called the third penalty on the guy and tossed him. Game over, everyone go home. This with about 9 minutes left in the game.

There were plenty of grumbles from both squads as Goalie VonDouche made his way to the locker room.

But a win, a playoff win especially, is a win and the Red was full of postgame smiles.

Game Stars:

3^rd Star: Dr. Jasse with a pair of helpers in a last minute decision to skate. Glad you made it Doc, always nice to see you helping out the offense. Thanks.

2st Star: Dan, I’ll take two, Gregson. Two great goals, back to back provided all Team Zombie would need to put this one away. Nice game Dan.

1^st Star: His second Playoff Shutout in a row. Jacob Marks with a stellar performance in the pipes. He didn’t see much, but what he did, he had covered. Great work man. Thanks.

So the Zombies stay alive and next Wednesday will face the loser of the Blues/Scapegoats match that happens tonight. The Scapegoats were last seen running over the Cads in game one, thanks in part to a short bench.

4^th Period honors go out to Dr. Jasse and Jeff for bringing cervesas, and Bauer for bringing the leftover chips from Sunday.

Gregson enjoyed a well earned 2 goal victory stogie in the foggy parking lot. The boys had good reason to bask. Another interesting night at the rink, a cold beverage afterward and another chance for glory again next week.

Zombies star in Epic Fail

Cadavers vs Scapegoats
Tuesday April 5
Quincy 920pm

6-1 trainwreck

Schlidaveur management completely imploded on Tuesday night, blowing the game time distribution resulting in a near forfeit, then followed by a complete drubbing on the ice at the hands of the capable Scapegoats.

The blogger knew something was wrong right away when hurrying into the lockeroom, thinking I was running late found only Mark Reynolds getting dressed in an EMPTY room. Gulp. Immediately calling teammates, trying to figure out if I was in the right place or not it soon became very, painfully, pathetically clear. The time was wrong on the email from Management. The email said 950. The gametime was 920.

The only glimmer of hope was the game before us was in overtime. I paced out front, as if it would make anyone come faster, when reliable goaltender Jon Cole rolled up with a “why are out out here stressing out” look on his face. Bless him, he was ready in no time. Calls to Baker and Parker, who were close, got them going quick.

The previous game went to a shootout, which had several rounds and the zamboni was on, and enough guys had showed to avoid the forfeit. So this good news was really only part of the story. The Cads would take the ice and start the game with just 4 skaters. The bench would fill as the first period would progress but the first 10 minutes were severely shorthanded.

So, in front of Jon would be Mike Campbell, Jeff Fosdick (who was staring down the barrel of his punishment for FUCKING UP THE EMAIL), Steve Baker, and Mark Reynolds. Scott Pounds would be the next to the bench and ice, followed up by Mitch and Parker. The Red roster would fill out with George, Dan (DWH) Herbert, Larry, Nelson, and then Paul Chapman would show up sometime in the second.

Unfortunately things were not going well on the ice as the promptly arriving skaters walked in to find this clusterfuck in progress. About a minute in the Goats got a good chance and Jon made a 5 hole stop, but the Ref ruled that it had crossed the line behind him. Campbell, who was well fueled via pregame beverages in true playoff form, and Reynolds would take great verbal exception to this. Immediately we were ingratiating ourselves to the zebras with all kinds of f bombs. You can imagine how that went.

The Goats would make relatively quick work of us scoring a nice bang bang play from the near side that would make it 2-0 about six and a half minutes in. Red was holding their own only sometimes, with good defensive plays followed by turnstile o-rama. The Goats would extend their lead at about 7 minuets left. Then again with just under five minutes the would send a long dump into the zone that was barely on net but Jon’s stick didn’t catch it and it hit the corner of the net and went in for a 4-0 lead. That’s how the first would end.

The Cads did an admirable job of focusing and playing as hard as possible and Management appreciates the Zombie pride that made it a game from then on. The addition of stellar newcomer Paul Chapman would be a brief glimmer. He would step on the ice and would take a pass from Jeff then work the top of the zone and score on a quick shot from the high slot. That would make it 5-1. That was it. Right there, the only positive thing that happened.

Baker would go for a slash in the second. Campbell would go for a rough, but only because he hadn’t fully warmed up his mouth yet. They scored their 6th during that penalty about midway through the period. Red would get lots of chances and at times did a great job working for shots but the Goat keeper was up to the task and had no problem protecting the big lead.

Things would predictably get chippy. Number 2 (no cage) and 73 (pink gloves) were particularly nasty, and by the end of the second there were skirmishes here and there. George and 73 went a few rounds in front of Jon with both of them ending up on their asses more than once. Baker and 2 would have regular exchanges.

Momentum just never got going for Red. It had started bad and never really climbed out of that hole.

With about 10 minutes left Jeff would chase a Goat he’d been tussling with all the way down to our end and would give him a good shot, sending the guy sprawling into the net and down then they would continue to beat on each other in front. Red touched and the Zebs called Jeff for the slash-takedown. As soon as the words “slash 10 Red” were out of his mouth “YOU'RE FULL OF FUCKING SHIT!” came bellowing across the ice from number 77. You could practically smell the Yard House monthly flavor wafting through the air as more invectives came tumbling across the rink. “THAT’S FUCKING BULLSHIT!” and a steady stream of F*bomb criticism came until the whistle blew again and 77 joined Jeff in the box.

This was actually the first thing that had brought a smile to Jeff’s face the entire night. He was trying to climb up into his helmet for the gametime fuckup but this was a classic moment. “I appreciate the support.” he said and they had a laugh. They had to, the reality was they’d just pretty much wrapped it up.

The Red would proceed to make a great 5-3 penalty kill. Zombie pride again from a bunch of guys submarined by the organization at the outset. That was it. No more shenanigans or scoring to tell of.

Except one thing. Jeff must have been suitably comforted by the copious amounts of Bud Light being served in the parking lot as he loudly grumbled “won the fourth” as the Goats guys broke up and got in their cars.

That was I guess the only other glimmer. The Cads represented in the fourth and tales of teen angst and porn in the good old days helped to ease the pain of the bad night. It was decided that the 13 year old boys of today don’t know how good they have it, that we’d all have had something fall off if we’d had the Internet when we were that age, and a sampling of the team’s most questionable deep dark urls would make for some very interesting surfing. That’s it.

This means that there will be a Playoff Loser bracket Daveur coming up sometime… management doesn’t know right now and probably wont or at least wont share it with the team…. speaking of which.

The Coon of Shame Returns.

And is awarded to Jeff. GM, CEO and grand poohbah of Schlidaveur International.

Way to go dude. To quote Campbell (again): ‘Dude, that’s your only job, to make sure all our sorry asses show up at the right time! YOUR ONLY JOB!” True. Sorry about that boys.

Zombies mauled by Predators

Cadavers vs Predators

Monday 3/14

HinghamA 10:10pm

9-0 Loss

An early week matchup with the pesky Predators ended up being not much of a game as the short benched Zombies got "blowed out" by the irritatingly talented and douchelike Preds.

Here is your Cadavers Roster. Note that the Organization gives a hearty welcome back to John Carey who was back home on leave from his training with the Marine Corps. Great to have you John, and you should know you're welcome anytime.

Cadavers

Brian Carey in Net

John (home on leave) Carey

Nelson

Larry

George

Campbell

Matt Elliot

Scott

Gregson

Parker

Matvey

Roman

Again the Blogger wasn't able to attend this one... continuing this season's theme of... once you run the team, you stop playing... but we did have some comments mailed in from some of the guys that were there.

First off is the Good Doctor Pounds with a nice recap:

"We held them to single digits. They had more than one guy who could skate by us all and roof a backhander over Brian. After it was 7-0 or so our bench started cheering the other team’s goals and asking for autographs after the game. Parker got tossed out for questioning a call. Campbell got three or four minors without getting tossed. "

Hmm. Doesn't sound good. Larry chipped in his 2cents too:

"Lost 7-0 (the scorekeeper must have fallen asleep... the scoresheet has 9 goals) not really close. And to top it off they're a classless bunch of punks"

Thanks Larry. George then broke down the (ugly) stats:

Penalties:
Period 1
Campbell 1:30, trip
Matvey, 1:30, trip
Period 2
Parker, Game (3rd man)
Campbell, 3:00, leg check/rough
Period 3
Matvey, 1:30, unsportsmanlike

GA by period
4/2/3

Well. That doesn't sound so good. Sorry we didn't have more bodies, but it looks like it wouldn't have made a difference.