Dear Bruins...

Dear Boston Bruins,
I know you haven't heard from me in a while... since we broke up about 10 years ago... (ok I left, and you never even noticed) but I felt the need to reach out. I've been watching your recent success, not that you care, and I'll be tuning in again tonight.
Even though you are still a barley above average team, in a league full of mediocrity, you've done well this year. Sure, your goalie has played out of his head and really carried your average roster much farther than I expected... but you have done well for yourselves and... well... ok I'll say it... I'm happy for you.
I still don't have much confidence you'll win tonight, or in the finals if you do advance... and I still think your owner is a shitbag thief, and I'll never forgive him for how he's run the club.. but that's beside the point now.
I guess I'm writing just to tell you... gosh this is kinda hard... good luck tonight. Its not that I care, or even want to get back together or anything... I just want something good to happen to all those poor souls you've been torturing for the last 30+ years. There I said it.
Sincerely,
Jeff
Ps. Jacobs... I still think you should be hung and burned and stoned in front of the building.

Zombies continue to roll against El Tigre

Cadavers(3) vs Tigers
Sunday May 22
Canton 7:10pm

3-1 win

The Cadavers faced the Tigers for the second time in the early summer season and came away with a hard working, well played win against our frequent foe. The clubs were evenly matched on the ice and bench at 10 each and the play was close, as we’ve seen so many times before. Even a few fans in the stands for each squad with the early game time which was nice.
Here is your Dead in Gold roster.
Jacob “The Puck Stops Here” Marks in Net
D1: Bauer and George
D2: Parker and Jeff
O1: Roman, Matvey and Scott
O2: Baker, Elliot and Gregson

The teams would get a quick feel for each other, and while the pace was not exactly “break neck” it was good for us and there were a few chances at both ends. Jacob played his usual very solid game in the pipes and Roman and Baker were able to move things around on offense a bit. The Gold would have the advantage in chances but the game would stay scoreless until well halfway through the first.

The Tigers would hit a long home run pass to a forward sneaking up through center and he would be sprung, a completely clear, no one even close break away that he did a nice job finishing for the 1-0 lead. Jacob was the only Zombie within 50-60 feet of the puck.

The Golden Corpses didn’t let it take the edge off though and it wasn’t long after when they would strike back. The play would be held in the zone and sent back in by Eric Bauer, who had a nice game at the left point opposite George. Matt Elliot would take if from Eric then send it over to uncovered Steve Baker who would rip a slapper from about 15 feet that met the twine and tied the game. End of one, 1-1.

The second would see a lot more close action. Both keepers would make some good stops and the offenses would come up empty on both sides. Bauer would go for a take down right in front of the Gold bench but no scoring on the penalty. End of two, still 1-1.

The 3^rd would see the Gold pull ahead in chances and in the score not long into the period. The Tigers would take a too many men on the ice penalty, something we were in danger of a few times and the Gold would make the most of the advantage. Bauer would send a nice low slapshot into the net off a Roman faceoff win (not very clean… but a win) and the GoldenZombies were up 2-1.

It seemed like a long period as Red would ratchet it up to try and get back to even in the game. Jacob would stand tall suffing out everything that came close. Scott Pounds would just miss an offensive chance on a beauty of a feed from Roman, and things would get tighter and tighter into the final minutes.

Jeff would take a turnover high in our own end and would spring Matt Elliot with a pass that send him in alone on the right side. Matty would rip a wrist shot that would find paydirt and the game was iced 3-1.
Red would get a couple more rushes and chances but nothing dangerous and that’s how the game would end. A nice job from all the Zombies.

Game Stars:

3^rdStar: Jacob Marks. Continuing to show great stuff in the pipes.

2^ndStar: Eric Bauer. Goal and an assist and a penalty. All over the score sheet and a decent game even though I'll bet he still doesn't think he should have been called for the take-down.

1^stStar: Matt Elliot who also had a goal and an assist. A solid night all the way around for Matty who has played great in the early going this season. His goal late in the third to put the game away was a thing of beauty. Nice work Matt.

Cads boil Lobsters for 2nd win!

Cadavers (2) vs Lobsters
Thursday 5/19
Dedham 9:00pm

6-1 Win.

The second game of the summer season saw the dead in Red taking on an opponent from seasons past in the Lobsters in Dedham on Thursday night. The Cads would play strong and come away with a big win after reuniting with the shelfish.

Here is your Zombie Roster.
Jon Cole in Net
Campbell
Bell
Kurin
Nikhamik
Sharfman
Moorachian
Parker
Gregson
Daley
Baker
Bauer
Sullivan

From all reports the game was really never close. Jon Cole played is usual very solid game in net and by all account Team Zombie passed and skated well enough to control the game most of the way.
Here is a basic rundown on scoring.
One goal in the first, Mike Daley unassisted to put the Zombies up 1-0.

The Second period would see Eric Bauer take a tripping call.
Steve Baker would score from Roman and Campbell, and the Lobsters would put one home to make it a 2-1 game after w periods.

The Third period was all Zombie. Larry would score his first of the season with help from Nelson and George at 13:30. Baker would land his second of the night from Gregson just two minutes later and the rout was on.
Kevin Parker would score (from Larry) with just over 2 minutes remaining and Larry himself would close things out, (from Nelson and Parker) with under a minute. Nothing like the Stat Whore squeezing one in before the buzzer with a 4 goal lead.
Great work all the way around by Team Zombie and the season is off to a nice 2 and 0 start.

Game Stars
3rd Star: Kevin Parker for a goal and an assist and all around solid veteran play.
2nd Star: Steve Baker for a pair of goals and not a single penalty... or moment of insanity. Nice work.
1st Star: Larry Stat Whore Bell. 2 goals and an assist. LB is already in mid-season form.

Season Opener! Treachery! Victory!

Cadavers (1) vs Tigers
Monday May 9
Quincy 8:10pm

5-1 Win


Team Zombie started another summer season last night on a positive note, even despite minor treachery, against old friends El Tigre in Quincy. The Cadavers would seem to overcome speed, age and even a traitor to come up with a hard work, veteran win.

The bench ended up on the shorter side thanks to the start time move from 10:20 to 8:10, which made trouble for some of the Cads getting there. At game time there were still a full 10 Cadavers in the locker room and as per usual we would wear our Gold against the Tigers who wear Red.

Here is your Dead in Gold Roster
Jon Cole in Net
Defense: Daley, Elliot, Jeff, and Roman*
Offense: Larry, Nelson, and Greggy
Sully, Dr.Pounds, and Matvey

Now, despite having 10 in the room the Cads would play the whole game with only 3 D due to an equipment and heart issue Roman had during pregame. Equipment because apparently the rushing Russian left his gloves at home and seemed perplexed as to what to do. Heart because he was playing another game that night with the Sitniks and was clearly conflicted. So, knowing we only had 10, he decided NOT to switch gloves with his D pairing and left the buildin.

That’s right friends, left us a man down with 9 and went to fetch his mits for his Sitniks game. I’ll let you all insert your own adjective to describe this behavior here: ________

So, here we are, the puck hasn’t even dropped on the summer and Management is dishing out the COON OF SHAME.

Roman gets the Coon. Only because it did leave us in a rather thin spot with 3 D on a night when we did not have many D regulars. Now, in all fairness he has a role with the Sitniks and has to be loyal there too, so the move is understandable, but… he could have stayed a little while…

So this meant Mike Daley, Matt Elliot and Jeff would do the 3 man rotation on defense. Let me tell you, the early returns on Elliott, who is not a blue line regular, were great. In fact those returns stayed strong all night long as Matt would do a great job breaking up plays and making them all night. He saw lots of ice and worked great with his D partners all night. Major Kudos there right off.

The game would take form pretty early on as good match up for the Gold. The Tigers had added a body or two, one which was a plus player, the others just average. Game pace would be less than lightning fast even in the early going. This is good as the Gold did not have very much in the way of team speed. Daley and Larry really were the only ones able to make space with their legs on a regular basis. They both played great games covering a lot of ice.

The game would remain scoreless until well into the first. No small part of that was the play of Jon Cole in net. He turned away multiple chances in the early going that helped keep the Gold in it.

A the 6 minute mark the Cats would get some good pressure and while the Gold chased would get a strong shot and bounce and would plop it in for a 1-0 lead. Despite being down the Golden Zombies would play hard to the end of the period and would keep working for chances. End of 1, 1-0 Red.

The second would see fruits of those labors pay off as things started to bounce the Zombies way. The period opened with a power play from a call just seconds before the buzzer. No blood on the PP but the Gold was gaining momentum.

Larry, Nelson, and Greggy would get some nice chances through some hard work cycling in the Red end. Daley would find Nelson who was in a crowd in the high slot. He would fire it hard on the ice despite his cover and the puck would slide righ in 5 hole under the screened keeper. Good stuff and a big smile from Nelson. 1-1.

The Red weren’t done. Next up Dr. Pounds would bury a doorstep rebound from Larry and the Cads in Gold were up 2-1. Great work by Scott to put it away.

Mike Daley was really playing a solid game, controlling the pace whenever he was on the ice. He would take a feed from Jeff and then dash up ice and finish a nice shot and the Gold were suddenly up 3-1 about halfway through the game.

Play tightened up a bit at that point as Red was bearing down but they got no significant leverage as Jon Cole played lights out. At this point in the game he had already made several highlight stops and was looking very strong. Anytime the Red got through he would shut them down. This was highlighted by a Red breakaway later in the second that Jon slid across nicely and totally smothered as the guy tried to lift it.

The Red would take another penalty, and the Gold would fumble through it. Then the Zeebs would send Daley to the box for a hold late, this despite the fact that Mike was mugged by the guy as they skated litterally halfway down the ice. No blood on that one either, in fact the kill was a nice boost. The Second would end 3-1.

The Third was a grind. Flat out, as we knew it would be. The Red kept coming. Jon kept making good saves but the Gold would continue to work in offensive chances.

Nelson would find paydirt on a nice self generated chance and the Gold would be up 4-1 after several minutes had gone by in the period. I wish I could tell you when but Maria won’t write the times on the sheet…

Shortly after the 4^th goal the Red would get a nice chance and a goal line side shot would go off of Jon’s pad an cross the line. The Zeebs couldn’t see it, and Jon kept moving and swept it just out over the line and the Zeeb called it no goal as Jeff stood shaking his head but not saying anything. The shocker was that the Tiger next to Jeff, who saw the play didn't have a total meltdown. We got one there for sure, but its happened the other way around plenty of times so it all evens out with the Hockey Gods.

Red would keep after it but just couldn’t get over the hump. As the game wound down to the 5 minute mark Elliot would work the puck up to Larry in center ice. Larry would tip it over to Jeff who was coming up with the play. Jeff would push up ice past the D to the outside and then unleashed a nice low slapper from inside the circle into the far corner past the keeper. That one would put a capper on the night. 5-1 win… and a very nice start to the summer.

Game Stars

3^rd Star: Nelson Sharfman. A pair of cagey veteran goals to lead the team the way he always does. Smart play and nothing but grit and effort. Nice game Nelson

2^nd Star: Jon Cole. Dude was awesome. Kept the Zombies in the game. This one could have looked very different at lots of points. Great work Jon.

1^st Star: A goal and and assist for Mike Daley but those numbers lie. Mike was all over the place, logging tremendous ice time and keeping the play under control whenever he touched the puck. Mike made plays on D and created offense all night. Nice game Mike.

Honorable Mention1: Greggy for the Daveur hat trick. Pucks, Water, and Beer. Thanks man.

Honorable Mention 2: Matt Elliot. A lot of ice time and great work on D all night long. Its not easy to step in on D, let alone in a 3 man rotation and perform. Matt did very well. Thanks man.

Honorable Mention 3:Everyone who remembered to bring their gloves.

Coon of Shame: Roman. Traitorous swine. (We love you Roman… and management understands… but really I couldn’t wait to rid myself of the Coon and you gave me the perfect chance)