River Rat Smackdown!

Cadavers (22) vs River Rats
Monday February 23
10:20pm


0 to ... don't ask.



Master Guestblogger iJosh is here to give it to you straight
friend. I ain't standing in his way so here he is...

"So do you remember when you were little? There were time that you wanted to be like the adults the big boys. But inevitably you were told to either go away; go play with your own friends; or this is no place for a kid. Essentially you were put in your place. Well folks this is exactly what the River Rats did to us. The let us know that we didn't belong there. At least not last night.

The players for this night would be: Matvey & George, Chris Fosdick & Mark Reynolds on D. iJosh centering Ken D and Chuck. Roman would center Gregson and Matt Elliott.

Sometimes when we have a great exciting game it is described as having it all. Well there was absolutely none of that. We would spend the first period on our heel trying our best just to not give up a goal.
There was no offense just genuine effort just to keep up. The Rats passed well, shot well and defended well. Not a good combo for the Dead in Red. Finally well into the 1st the Rats would finally strike. This would be followed by more struggling efforts by the Cads. The only shot in the 1st was a tipped pass that floated in the air and captured by their keeper. Lizzie put in a fantabulous first period, making some very impressive saves. But as the period wound down the Rats would get a pass away and a streaking player would roof one with only seconds to
go. 2-0 Rats

The second would see numerous breakdowns by the Cadavers. This would lead to a total of 4 goals in on Lizzie. Don't get me wrong, she still played well. But some of these saves Gerry Cheevers wouldn't have made. Okay that would be the Gerry Cheevers of 2009. He is much older and slower. But he is still a better player than any of us. Our favorite ref even felt a little sorry for us as he even let us know that he let a hook by iJosh go. But eventually he would have to start calling them and that would put Roman in the box for tripping. By the end of two it was 6-0.

The third would see the Rats lay off a bit. But that would make little or no difference. Matt Elliott would have our one and only legitimate shot at a goal, but it wasn't meant to be. Lizzie let more in via screens, tips and overpowering shots. Again, nothing that she could anything about. In the end the score would be 10-0.

Hindsight being 20/20, even if we had more natural defensemen or played better positioning or passed better the outcome may not have been much different. Yeah, maybe we put one in and maybe they score 2 or 3 less.

But all in all this was the spanking that your daddy gave to you just when you needed to be put in your place. Maybe you enjoyed that. But that would make you a freak. The rest of us just bowed our head in shame and walked away.

The 4th would have a few quick die hards. Beer courtesy of Mr. Fosdick. But the time, temp and lack of enthousiasm made it a quick night.

Josh... you rock. Great work as always. Unfortunately we dont have a very pretty story to tell at times. There were a bunch of other contributors on this one and the Blogger thanks you all. Here is a few words from Captain George:
" ... Not a muscle in body that doesn't fell like lead. Left it all on the ice last night. ...
...You know me. I always have something to say, or some comments after the game on how we might have slowed the opposition down. But, after the game, I had zero complaints for any Cad
performance. There was simply nothing we could have done with the roster we had versus that Rats team. As a matter of fact, I believe that even if we had a Schlidavers A-team skate, we would not have been able to win. The River Rats have no business being our division.... It's not their fault. I blame the league administrator for allowing it."

Alright Cap... Thanks for your words as always, here in the blog and at the rink. Next up on the hit parade is our Lady of the Pipes... Lizzy who had a word or two for her teammates after a long night at the rink. Here's Lizzy:
Even though we lost last night I think there should be some honorable mentions stars. Everyone who played defense Matvey, George, Chris, and Mark, played really well considering there was a lot of pressure the whole game and the only real on this team defense man was George. George and Chris played especially well on the boards. Three people from the other team were often boarding George it looked like a George sandwich. If I could pick one star it would be Chris, he really stepped up to play D last night and did an great job. "

Alright Lizzy, thanks for that. Again the blogger wants to thank all contributors as always send your love, hate, venom, and questionable content to yours truly here at the blog.

Suds v. Suckas

Schlitz (20) vs Windsuckers

Sunday February 22
Dedham 9:10 pm


4-2 Loss


Sounds like a tight matchup on Sunday night for the Suds. Let's hear from a pair of excellent guest bloggers about how this one went down. First of we've got Larry "Double Vision" Bell with a nice recap of the action. Here's Larry:

A pretty even match between the Suds and 'suckas. The suckas opened the scoring in the first period as #28 broke through the D and beat Brian with a wrister to the stick side. Suds answered in the second with Capt George taking the puck at the offensive blue line, skating around the zone, behind the net and banking a shot off Scott's skate.
Schlitz took the lead in the third as Jasse sent a pass to me at the blue line that split the D and I finished off the break with a backhand goal. 'Suckas answered when I send a bouncing pass to George at our blue line that he couldn't control resulting in a breakaway for white.
They took the lead moments later on a shot from the top of the left circle that eluded Brian. The fourth suckas goal resulted from another miscue between LB and George as white took it to the net from the corner, neither one of us took the puck carrier, and he squeezed in a backhand, short side.

Penalties:
77 - 2 x 1:30 = 3:00 pim
16 - 2 x 1:30 = 3:00 pim
9 - 1 x 1:30 = 1:30 pim
7 - 1 x 1:30 = 1:30 pim
90 - 1 x 1:30 = 1:30 pim

Good work Larry, thanks for checking in. Now we've got another excellent GB from Dr. Jasse hisownbadself. Here's Mike with an outstanding game story.

DEFENSE:
CampbellDWHGregg JamesCap't George
OFFENSE:
Mike Daley centering
Dan Gregson LW
Chuck RW
Larry “Don’t Call me Alexander-Graham” Bell
Centering
Doc Pounds on z lef
El Doctorino Jasse (if yer not into the whole brevity thing) on the right
Nelson Greybeard doing that floatation thing he does so well
Puck drops and (wait for it) the whistle blows. A mere 12 seconds into the game Campbell heads for the sin bin (tripping). Our boy in stripes (butterball) said that was a first for him to call one so early.
Pretty evenly matched game; they went up 1-nill in the first but both teams had chances. We tied it on a non-kicking motion deflection of Dr Pounds boot (not sure who got the assist).
Things got a little dicey when Larry and one of their pugnacious D got into it and the bad guy ended up horse-collaring Larry to the ice. Tounges were flappin’ but cooler heads prevailed as both parties went to adult time-out to reflect on what they had done.
1-1 going into the 3rd and Jasse feathers a pass up the middle to a streaking Larry who’s speed splits the D and tucks a backhander home against the helpless tender of the net.
We’re up 2-1 and there is much rejoicing.
Puck drops, it’s in the feet, it’s passed back to our D, it’s in George’s feet, it’s picked up by their forward, it’s in the net.
#%%^&*&@!!
The score may have been 2-2 but it was a truly deflating goal.
They ended up tucking a wrap-around in to go up 3-2 and ice it with a wicked slapper to make it 4-2.
I thought we played well (Brian kept us in it) and we skated with ‘em. We just didn’t have quite enough.
No beers in the 4th…..the horror.

... ug. Great story Mike! Too bad about the game. Thanks for giving such excellent blog my man. You are always welcome in this space. Good effort by the Suds and big kudos to all who played, too bad it didn't work out.

Rosters Sunday 2/22 Monday 2/23

Two upcoming games early next week!

... and your obligatory roster cheesecake pic to keep you warm while Winter continues to suck....

Sun 2/22 9:10 Dedham

Suds vs. Windsuckers
Mike C, Nelson, Scott, Matt K, Mike J, Gregson, Dan H, Greg J, George, Chuck, Pete C, Mike F, Mike D, Carl

Mon 2/23 10:20 Canton
Cadavers vs. River Rats

Lizzie in net, Matvey, Pearlman, Jeff, Elliot, Valenti, Reynolds, Roman, Ijosh, Ken G, Chris Foz, Hammitt, Ken D,

Zombies win... and lose.

Cadavers (21) vs Lobsters

Tuesday Feb.17th

BU 9:20pm

0-1 Forefit

Uh... the goalie didn't show. Not one of our regulars, but a fill in guy that management had to line up for the game. Heads are rolling (or at least eyes) here at Schlidaveur International. Kudos to those guys that skated and played well from the sound of it. Too bad we lost by forefit.

Here is the email exchange of the week.

Greg James: "We both lost 1-0 and won 6-3 at the same time… figure that brain tease out.
Frankly the only important element from the game is that I scored a wicked snap shot inside the left post after going coast to coast.
Needed oxygen for the following 3 shift cycles, but it was truly great (or at least seemed that way in my head as I played it over and over to myself). "

Scott Pounds: "1. Zombie goalie doesn’t show. Game is 1-0 Lobsters, but Cads win the unofficial skate?
2. Cads are down 1-0 in first period when the fat ref chokes on a donut and has to be rushed to ER.

3. Game is called for Lobsters, but replacement officials decide to play out the hour and the Dead come back?
4. Cads lose game 1-0 but kick ass in the parking lot, outdrinking the Lobster lightweights 6 cases to 3?
5. Cads win the game 6-3 but lose the only fight?
6. Zombies lose the game 1-0 but win 6 fights out of 9?
7. Dead win hockey game 6-3, lose fashion show 1-0?

Greg again: "You only get one guess… Number one is right Mensa boy."

Kevin Parker: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my head is killing me!!!"

Too bad about that one.

REMEMBER There are games SUNDAY and MONDAY NIGHT!

Zombies vs Lobsters Rematch Tonight!

Cadavers (21) vs Lobsters

Tuesday February 17th

BU 9:20pm

This hasn't been a great season for us against the Shellfish. I believe we are a snappy 0-3-1 against our clawed friends this season combined. Not so spectacular. The last time we beat them was almost a year ago now... how can this be? So... lets have a good turn out tonight. Someone be sure to get the scoresheet and tell the blogger a tale tomorrow morning.

Good luck Zombies...

CADAVERS

Mike C
Larry
Gregson
Dan H
Elliot
Greg J
George
Marc V
Chuck
Mike F
Daley
Carl
Ken D
Sean (fill in, new goalie. Both Lizzy and Brian unavailable).

Failtacular night at Bavis. Jacked up by Jacks

Cadavers (20) vs Inglewood Jacks

Monday February 9th

Bavis Arena 9:00pm

7-0 Loss

Um... this one didn't sound like it went that well. Here is excellent guest blogger Mark Reynolds to let us all in on what went down in the land of Rock last night.

Here's Mark:

This game was as bad as it gets. 7 – 0.

The Red skated with 20 lbs of lead in our asses. Poor break outs, soft passes, no back-checking, and hardly any shots on goal.

The zebras had it in for us (well maybe we deserved most). I can’t recall the number of penalties we took, but 5-on-4 and 5-on-3 seemed to be the theme of the game. At least we didn’t give up any goals on the 5-on-3 penalty kills. The Red had one ejection (read the roster and place your bets) and a couple of guys with two (including this guest blogger). You know it’s a bad penalty eve when even Pete C ends up serving time in the sin bin.

Lizzy in Net.
Defense
Hammitt – Reynolds
Pearlman – George
Forwards
Parker – iJosh – Pete
The Doctor – Ken D – Elliot
Ken G – rotation

No game stars…we all sucked.

Hopefully the guys that bailed to go to the Beanpot had a good time; sorry for the dig guys, but we could have used you.

Well... that's ah... great. Thanks Mark. We had a few other players chime in. Dr. Pounds sent an email with these 4 pics in it titled 4,000 words. Thanks Doc... I think we get the picture.

Then Pete Capraro decided to chime in with this short message of hope:

Here is my assessment of last night: "U-G-L-Y ... you ain't got no alibi, yo ugly.............oh ah............yo ugly".

Spanked.
Beaten.
Embarrased.
Humiliated.

Uhhh ... I'm getting the feeling that things really didn't go well, aren't you? Lastly we will hear from old pal Billy Pearlman about how he saw the evening.

4-0 after 1st period…we were turnstyles out there….everyone watching the talented D leaguers do their thing…and then we decided to get in their face a bit, stand ‘em up at the blue line, forecheck and we only gave up 3 more goals the rest of the game. We killed something like 8 penalties, Hammitt got the boot in the second period as well leaving us shorthanded. Final tally 7-0 and aside from some long shots deflected, we had no scoring chances.

Alright... that about wraps this one up from here. Thanks for coming out everyone. Lets get the W next time.

Monday Night at Bavis vs. The Jacks

Dont forget there is a game tonight for the Zombies in Rockland at the Bavis Arena.


Here is the last roster I was aware of.... hopefully someone has pucks and water.


Good luck.

Monday 2/9 9:00 Bavis
Ijosh
Ken G
Stefan
Scott
Jasse
Pearlman
Hammitt
Elliot
George
Kevin
Pete C
Mark R
Carl
Ken D

Hockey under the moon and stars… and lights.

The Campbell Poly Pavillion was open for business and some of the Daveurs made a night of it and joined Master Campbell at his private back yard rink. Wait… you say, this can’t be Blogger! It was COLD last night! Wind chill down by 0 (zero), and you guys went out and skated? Yes friend, we skated in the cold last night, but see you were only cold if you weren’t having fun, and I assure you, the fun was plentiful.

I’m here to tell you about a little slice of heaven. Just enough rooom for 3 on 3 on the small surface, one net turned over, the other manned abley by Rick O’Shea. One sub, or designated beer drinker, fire stoker, puck finder, etc… A can of Bud Light in the snowbank, so cold that if you were slow the beer at the bottom would be frozen, so naturally one had to keep visiting to make sure that didn’t happen.

In attendance were Greg “Plays big on a small surface” James, Larry “Double Vision” Bell, Marc “Next Year make it wider” Valenti, Nelson “Check out the icicles on the back of my head” Sharfman, and Pete “I’m going to try and make the 615am skate” Capraro.

The Blogger hisownself was delighted to be there, as he didn’t think he’d have the chance until the last minute. Mrs.Blogger had a “meat raffle” engagement and the sitter situation was in question. I’m not making that up… and I’m making no further comment.

The 3 on 3 action was excellent. Tight playing surface but enough room to get going and you had to move your legs to make a play. Space was at a premium so the action was fast and you had to make your passes or shots quick because someone was on you in less than 2 seconds every time. Good practice for old slow guys like myself.

Just like all good things in life, the time went too quickly and before you knew it, it was time for Larry and Marc to shove off, and then the Norwell PD showed up and we decided to break up the action. Believe it or not one of the neighbors called about the cars parked out on the street in front of the house. They had to have bitter over all the fun we were having playing a little pond hockey at the PollyPavillion on a cold Thursday night. Jealous bitches.

Regardless Master Campbell, James, Sharfman and Blogger had a nightcap standing by the low fire. Mike turned the lights and generator off and there was just the thin silver of the moonlight through the bare branches of the tree over us. The stars just hard bright specks winking throught the shadowed branches. The red coals of the fire warming our frozen hands and feet. We didn’t linger long as it was time to clear off the roadblock, but while it lasted it sure was sweet. Thanks again Mike.

Hopefully we’ll get another couple cracks at a davuer night, and everyone is encouraged to make the next event. Stay tuned, stay warm, and have a good weekend.

Old Man Winter Cancells Tuesday Game

The big tilt with the Clinc out at UMalcatraz was kiboshed by the league on Tuesday afternoon due to the 374th snowstorm of this winter.

The blogger celebrated by shoveling his driveway for the 374th time well into the night, not coming in until after 10:15 with an aching back and frozen feet. I've decided the only thing good... if you can call it that, about shoveling your driveway is that you can drink beer while you are doing it. I think that's all that sustained me to the top of the driveway and through the muck that the plows left at the entrance. Bastards.

Is it just me or is this winter never going to end?

Hopefully we'll get an agreeable makeup game for this one.

Stay tuned for next weeks rosters.

Seafood Buffett. Lobsters chow Zombies.

Cadavers (19) vs Lobsters

Monday February 2nd

Milton Academy 8:50pm

7-2 loss

A groundhog day treat/tragedy against the Losbstrosities. The good news is that we have a pair of decent guest-blogs to share the pain. Boy, the Shellfish have certainly got the best of us this season... seems they have been recruiting better than the managment over here at Schlidaveur International...

So first up is Dan Gregson with a short and sweet wrapup that really gives you a flavor for the game. Here's Dan:

We got boiled/clawed somewhere between 6 and 8 to 2 Daley got 1 maybe 2 goals, I'm not sure if the first one was deflected by Parker or not. Ask him I'm sure he'll say he had 5 or six goals.
We kept up pretty good until the 3rd.
D lines were Hammett and Stefan Daley and Matvey....yes Matvey well
played
Forwards we did the 3 lines 2 centers
Mark and Parker were on a line
Myself and Scott were another line
Nelson and Mike F
Chris and Roman were the Centers.
Penalties to Matvey and Hammitt

Excellent work Dan. Thanks for the words. Just so you know Daley did not write in reporting 5 or 6 goals... only 3. So there will have to be a leauge investigation to verify the point totals at the end of the season... just kidding.

Secondly here is a slightly longer, if not more colorful description from Mark (1/2 of the Duxbury Duo) Reynolds. Here's Mark:

7-2 (loss)
Total suck game. Their 3 non-D league players did their usual job on us.
Goal #1 – the Dr, using the long wingspan, made a nice deflection.
Goal #2 – Mike D went to left wing (at the request of an aging player who shall remain nameless) and scored a nice one.

Matvy – one penalty – I think for being a Ruskie.
Nota Bene: Hammitt – zero penalties – not his usual charming on-ice personality.

Net: Lizzie
D Pairs:
Hammitt / Stephan
Mike D / Matvy
Centers:
Chris F and Roman
Wings:
Reynolds / Parker
Dr Pounds/ Dan G
Carl / Nelson

The Red (wearing Gold as not to be confused with the Nephropidae, sometimes also referred to as Homaridae of the marine crustacean genus), got behind early and never caught up. Their numbers 15, 16. and 8 (aka chick with a dick) had way too may moves, solid passing, and speed. Hammitt is still searching for his jock strap that he was faked out of at the end of the 3rd period (sorry Mike, couldn’t resist…no way was it a D league move)

While there were no game stars, the following players deserve honorable mention:
Mike D – nice goal
The Dr – nice hands
Big Dan G – consistently demonstrating solid puck handling skills
Chris F – played like a stud at center ice and never quit

Great work Mark. Too bad the game didn't turn out so well. Thanks very much for your words and thoughts on the game. The blogger owes both you and Gregson a beer after the next game.

Lets try to get 'em next time and hopefully improve our record against the Lobsters.

Newbies Roll in Saturdaveur!

Schlitz (19) vs Cadavers (18)
Saturday January 31st
Bavis Arena 10:20pm

Cads 2
Suds 9


The ‘daveurs assembled this past Saturday evening for a special Saturdaveur over at the Bavis arena in Rockland. Not only was it a special night… it’s the first time the Blogger can recall ever playing a “leauge game” on a Saturday evening… but it was the night of the Tenuredaveur. That’s right friends, the teams were split according to the length of time that everyone had been with our little ragged band of skaters.
Everyone seemed eager for this particular tilt. I think the new guys were salivating at a chance to show the Tenured Faculty where it was at, and the oldies were all giddy about wearing the old time shirts and having a few faces from the past show up for the game. The newcomers skated in Gold, and the Cads skated with a ProBowl/ All Star style lineup wearing old PTC, Icebergs, Knights and original Cadavers shirts (black/white). The refs didn’t get it and offered some fashion criticizm, but everyone seemed to adjust and there wasn’t any confusion on the ice.

Old friend Tom Reagan from the ProPuck, Knights and original Cads days made the trip in from Brookfield to join the Oldies and we were glad to have him. Kevin Manning of Knights fame also came to skate with the guys and its always nice to have him on the blue line. The teams broke down like this.

Cadavers (Tenured Faculty)
Lizzy (F*kn P*ssies!) DeFlurin in net.
D1: K.Manning, Jeff
D2: Campbell, Matvey
O1: Larry, Jasse, Chris
O2: Roman, iJosh, Capraro
O3: Reagan, Mitch, Dr.Pounds

Schiltz (NeoDaveurs)

Brian (Long arm of the Law) Carey in Net
D1: George, Valenti
D2: DWH, Greg
O1: Daley, Reynolds, Douville
O2: Elliott, Chuck, FItzpatrick
O3: Gregson, Pearlman

Pictured here, left to right are Daley, Elliot, DWH, and Gregson... apparently they had their "game face" on.

Pearlman had been a last minute dump trade from the Cads, given that they had 14 and the Gold only had 11. So Bill was nice enough to volunteer to make the switch… then bitched about being traded. By the end of the game I think he was happy with the arrangement.
The teams went into the first period both hoping to make an early jump on things. The early action was quite good, but mostly to the Suds advantage. The Red was in an early scramble just trying to contain the likes of Daley, Douville, and Reynolds who had the motors going. The Red got bottled up pretty quick and it wasn’t long before the ice was broken.
Dan (It’s a league game Smokey…) Gregson put the first one by Lizzy with helpers from George and Daley. This one was close down after a long scramble in the Red end, which was a theme we would see more of, much more of before the night was over. As a matter of fact Daley himself not moments later, working hard and keeping the puck for himself behind the net executed a nice wrap around and put the Gold up 2-0.
At this point Jeff was tired of getting housed by Daley so on the next shift he decided to just hang all over him when he made it to the front of the net. The only flaw in the plan was that the Gold zipped the puck out to the point where DWH launched a beauty and put the gold up 3-0, just like that. Dan took the pass from Chuck on that one, but just for good measure on the next shift put one in from the same spot on almost the same play, this time unassisted. At the merciful end of the first it was 4-0 Gold.
The Red did dig in and they decided to show up to the game when Marvelous Mike Jasse finally put one home, from Capraro to cut the lead to 3. The Zombies rode the wave of momentum for the next few minutes and actually threatened to make a game of it when iJosh would land a nice shot unassisted that beat Brian and made it a 4-2 game. Back and forth the teams would go for the next several minutes of the second as the game threatened to become a nip and tuck affair. This wasn’t to be as the Gold re-asserted themselves as Mike Daley would score again, on the doorstep, again, this time from Valenti and Ken Douville. The period would end 5-2 Gold.
It needs to be noted that Douville is really coming around and having a nice rookie season. One one point on this night but he was everywhere. Take it from someone who had to chase him all night, the dude’s got wheels and we’ll be seeing more of him on the score sheet in games to come.
There was one penalty in the second for too many men to the Zombies. No blood on the pp. The third saw many more penalties and a handfull more goals for the Gold as the game quickly went from close to way out of hand. Daley would pot his third for the natural trick in the early going. Then about 5 minutes later we had a bit of an interesting one. George pulls up at just inside the red line and lets one fly… Lizzy for some reason thought the play was dead…we wont get into that… and uh… let the puck go in the net for the 7th goal. George wasn’t complaining… but it was a bit odd.
Elliott would be next on the hit parade after consecutive penalties by Campbell and Jeff. Manning would go also before things were done. Matt Elliot put the millionth goal from right next the net in to make it 8-2, and then Chuck Slate would put the icing on the cake (from Valenti) and the game would come to an eventual close with the Gold on top 9-2, and the Tenured Faculty wondering what truck just ran them over.
Despite Larry’s bitching about the defense, the defense bitching about themselves, and everyone feeling pretty old there was a bright side in the postgame locker room brought up by Campbell.
“Well… it’s a tribute to management to see how well we’ve recruited”
Indeed. Its clear that much of our recent success as a franchise is because of the the talent that has come along and helped out the team. It was on clear display on Saturday night.
What else can you say about guys like DWH, Daley, Reynolds, George, Chuck, Elliott… the list goes on and on. These guys are major contributors and it shows. Good work and a bit tip of the hat to everyone on the Gold roster for making it happen.

Game Stars

3rd Star: Captain George. A goal and an assist for the Gold and his usual uptempo effort. George has been a strong addition in so many ways and it was on display Saturday night.

2nd Star: DWH. Two goals from the point and strong steady play as always. Dan showed (as usual) why he has been such a valuable pickup for the 'daveurs.

1st Star: Mike Wraparound Daley. A big hat trick and a bushel full of troubles for the Red D all night long. Daley is an unstoppable force when he wants to be. You'll be seeing him at the top of the scoring leaders sheet for a long time. Great work Mike.

Postgame notes include that not only did the senior circuit endure the indignity of getting housed by the newguy roster, a good handfull of Zombies shuffled off to the TKO'Shays around the corner so they wouldn't have to stand in the cold... The Golden Suds stayed in the lot and drank... like real men.